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John Laurens' turtle left a comment!

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I honestly hate to vent online but eh,,
I’m sick, I just can’t do it. My art is fucking trash, I’ve been drawing for almost 5 years, and I still don’t have a unique art style, heck, I didn’t even improve. Seeing others improving, and showing their results after x and y time just makes me more uninspired. Seeing those good drawings on the popular page supposed to be making people inspired, i guess not? My art style is just a fucking anime ripoff. I was very proud of it when I was younger, but now all I can see is mistakes. I’ve been crying since yesterday, and not just because of that.. if I even talk about my problems to some people, that wouldn’t help me. They would leave me on read, ignore me, or saying “Oof same dude”. I can’t vent to anyone, I would make them sad. I would make them hurt.
My negative thoughts have been haunting me. I hate it. I hate myself. I become mad or sad over little things. I’m toxic. I know it. Most of the people would just say nothing, but I don’t blame you. I’m a fucking abomination. I just want attention. Taking a break wouldn’t help me. I know it. I can’t just leave, I’m way too attached to some of you. But everyone is practically leaving anyways. What’s the point? I don’t matter. I know it.
But I will try to draw.. although I don’t enjoy it that much anymore...
I’m sorry for venting..

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John Laurens' turtle left a comment!

I don’t care anymore

I loved her for years
I fell in love with her
And I know it’s not smart of me, to continue and return to that love even though she won’t return it but I think she’s the only one that keeps me going rn... besides the thoughts and respect I have for her...
I don’t care if she ever returns my feelings
All I care about is given her the ones she deserves
If it destroys my health, so be it, at least I can improve hers.
That’s how much I love her.
And I know you all don’t know who I’m talking about but, I will be drawing moments in her and I’s relationship that will make sense...
for now... plus I’m out of normal art ideas ha
I’m sorry this is random, but while, it has been affecting my art for the last few months, and I’ve just exploded...

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