I really haven't been in the best mental state lately. Haven't really been 100% okay since what happened with Grandma last December (When her health started to decline). And I've been worrying too much about the past and the future all at once. I'm worried that because of how immature, uneducated on certain topics, kinda rude and overall stupid I was from when I was 10 or so up until now, I'll end up getting "cancelled" for it. I said so many dumb, rude-sounding things when I was younger and I really regret it. I'm almost 100% convinced that Icm a bad person because of that. I just can't snap out of the funk I've been in. So many people who don't even really know me say so many bad things about me and I'm kinda starting to believe them. Not about everything they say, though. But still quite a lot. I try to do good things and I try to help people every single chance I get but I still feel like a bad person because of who I was in the past. I just wish I could feel like myself again. It's been so long. And with how involved a lot of people are in cancel culture, they won't acknowledge how much I've grown over the years. They'll only see my flaws and mistakes and judge me based off of that. And I feel like my friends and family are pretending that I'm a good person just to make me feel better. I really just can't get out of this rut and I hate every second of it. I wish I could feel like a good person again. I wish I didn't care so much about what others say. I wish I would stop worrying so much because it's keeping me from living in the present. I just can't take it anymore... I've reached my breaking point and I don't know what to do from here.