插畫・漫畫投稿&社群網站 - ART street by MediBang

I fucking hate myself. (Vent/Rant)
I hate being as cringy as I am. Everything I do/like is cringy to so many people and I'm ashamed of myself for it. I hate myself for all those stupid age regression related vent posts I made last year, I hate myself for being involved with age regression in general since so many people hate it, I hate myself for how I used to be a furry and an FNAF fan because recently, someone on Discord said that being a furry/Fnaf fan is basically bestiality, I hate myself for being an MLP fan since I got bullied for it a lot when I was younger, I hate being a Brawl Stars fan since a friend of mine bullied me pretty badly for it when I was 16 and because someone said that everyone in the fandom is either a pedo, a zoophile, a necrophile, a robophile, a homophobe or some other bad thing depending on who your favorite characters are in the game and since Poco is my biggest comfort character (I hate admitting this but I kind of see him as a friend, even though he's fictional) and he's a skeleton, that apparently makes me a horrible person according to that dumb bitch; I hate myself for being a cosplayer since people say cosplayers are immature for wearing costumes before/after Halloween, I hate being a JoJo fan since I got bullied for liking that anime and since Dio was one of my favorite characters, I'd probably be considered a "crazy Dio fan" solely because of that, I hate myself for being as childlike as I am at 18 because I am literally a fucking adult now! I can't keep acting like a child! I need to fucking grow up sooner or later, right? I hate myself for liking cute things/the kawaii aesthetic because a few years agi I saw someone say it's creepy to be a teen/adult that likes cutesy, pastel things. I hate myself for being a gamer since a lot of people still don't accept female gamers. I hate myself for all the cringy things I did when I was really young even though I know everyone has done at least one thing they cringe at when they look back on it. I hate myself for not being who my family (specifically my asshole aunt and uncle) expect me to be. I hate myself for liking unicorns when I'm 18 now. Somebody posted something online when I was 14 saying how people over the age of 13 can't like unicorns because apparently, they're only for kids. I hate how I can't be myself anymore because of my crippling fear of being ridiculed for everything. That's why I gave up on so many things I loved even though I knew they were harmless. It fucking hurts like Hell! I hate having to give up on what makes me happy just to keep everyone else happy. It still drives me fucking insane! I hate myself so much. I wish I could just be normal instead of being what most people online would consider to be a "fatherless child". Then again, my parents separated before I was born so I'm wondering if I'm as weird as I am because my dad was never really a part of my life. I wish I would have listened to all the people who told me to be like everyone else because being different is just becoming too hard for me. I hate not being able to be myself anymore. I fucking hate it with every fucking molecule, cell and atom in my fucking being! I swear, if I have to give on something else that I like just because of some asshole telling me to, I'm going to go fucking insane! I am so tired of being that one person that everyone hates just because she's not "normal". I just wish I could be a normal, mature, 18-year-old girl yet here I am, being the same unicorn-obsessed womanchild that I've always been. I'm tired of being different! I'm tired of being ridiculed for everything! I'm tired of my own family trying to get me to be someone I'm not! I'm tired of people not taking me seriously! I'm tired of being the butt of so many jokes! I'm tired of owing everyone an explanation for every single fucking thing I do! I'm just so fucking tired of it all! I can't fucking take it anymore!

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