I hate always having to walk on eggshells around everyone but I also hate not being okay with the fact that I still make mistakes now and then. I always try to be careful with what I say to people and on the rare occasions that I end up saying something insensitive/rude (sometimes, I don't realize how my words come across until it's too late), I end up feeling like such a horrible person that I just start beating myself up over every negative thing I say or have said in the past. This is why I hate cancel culture so damn much. There's this HUMONGOUS amount of pressure to be to absolutely fucking perfect when that's just not humanly possible and when you make even the smallest mistake at ANY point in your life, everyone suddenly hates your guts. That's why I hate making mistakes like lashing out at people because of my anger issues that I've been dealing with since I was 10, saying things that come across wrong and just making people upset in any other way. That's why I'm always overly cautious. Of course, I always apologize when I'm in the wrong because I'm genuinely sorry for what I did/said but I still always feel like a bad person, despite what my friends/family tell me. I'm tired of always having to walk on eggshells but I'm so afraid of possibly losing my friends and/or my family turning their backs on me because of my anger issues, a misunderstanding or something that I said that was unintentionally rude. I just can't handle making mistakes anymore. I wish I could be perfect because then, I wouldn't have to worry about everyone instantly hating me if I make a mistake.