So, you know how a while back, I got upset because it seemed like everyone only cares about my old posts from a long time ago? Like, 2, 3+ years ago? Well, it's the same with YouTube comments. Some asswipe just replied to a comment I made a whole ass YEAR ago. And it was on a dumb age regression video I watched when I was 17. Basically, they said that if I'm 18, I should stop regressing because my childhood is over and that I should pay taxes/rent. Like, bitch, I have a job but I can't afford a ducking house yet! And I don't live in a place owned by someone else so I can't fucking pay the fucking rent, dumbass! Because of their reply to my OLD comment, I felt like I had to LIE just to be treated respectfully. Now I just want to throw away all my coloring books, my regression journal and give away all my stuffed animals because I told them I left everything childish behind. I know my childhood is technically over but I'm still struggling to finally be living my adult life. I've made SOME progress but I'm not 100% there. I'm not in my first relationship yet, my job isn't a daily 9-to-5, I'm just not living my adult life 100% and I feel like a fucking failure. And I'm turning 19 in a little over a month. I'm feeling embarrassed of how I wanted to throw a SpongeBob party for my 19th birthday now. There are two cartoons I've been a fan of for my whole life: SpongeBob and MLP. But since I'm an adult, I guess I should just stop watching them. I've already stopped watching my other comfort shows so how the fuck would this be any fucking different? I hate being childlike at 18! I hate being an adult! I hate being different! I hate being alive! If this is how people are going to treat me just because I'm an adult, I'd rather try to be who they want me to be because all I want is a little fucking respect and I'll change everything about myself if it's fucking necessary. I'm just so. Motherfucking. Done. At this point. I can't fucking do this anymore. I just can't.