synesthesia
this is long abandoned, i check it every once in a while just to look at my old posts 'cause it's fucking funny
she/he, aether
used to be salem/other names, she/xe/it/bun??? i think . i dont remember
idk lmfao
pangender
all prns
homoflexible*
i say lesbian bc i like the term better
https://codycodycody.carrd.co & https://the-sugarsweet-system.carrd.co
synesthesia left a comment!
// s/h and suicide mention hahahfhughfweage rdg
my mom: fuck you, my child is completely fine
her child: adhd, anxiety disorder, possible autism, possible symmetry ocd, possible DID, trauma, cries when they think of their middle school, drinks monster energy a little too much, draws gore art a little too much, does s/h, considered s//cide, still in love with a girl she dated 2 years ago, i could go on
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"their middle school" ,.....okay! yeah! middle school! totally! okay sevvie
so uh today was wild
im 100% sure someone fronted today during english. i dont know who
basically i was just chilling with my head on my desk and i THOUGHT i fell asleep.
when i 'woke up' my class was going outside for break and it was normal and when i got back for french
i got my pencil
and it looked like someone chewed on it. not me, not anyone else in the class.
it had to have been someone else in the brain. i dont remember anything about it, i just blacked out, but not really sleeping
so yeah that was cool
like i said i dont know who fronted ?? but if i ever find out i'll tell you (if i have perms from them ofc)
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Oh girl you were sleeping but that was probably me in front most of that day you just didn't notice -mars
people on twitter canceling everyone in the dsmp:
people on da/th hating the canceled people:
me whos just in the fandom for a good time:
theyre so pretty it hurts
im not talking 'bout boys, i'm talking 'bout girls!!!
anyways im still in love with a girl i dated 2 years ago and my texas school district disabled my school account so now i literally have no way of contacting her and im not even completely sure that shes safe considering texas is the WORST at dealing with covid aha
....i still love moxxie dont worry- we're polyamory and our relationship is open!!
the feelings are still there even though i cant even talk to her.
friendly reminder
systems are VALID /srs
block me if you dont support systems, support endosystems, or call DID or OSDD "MPD" on purpose /srs
-cody, alto and mikey (written by cody and i just thought id include the others too since they both agree)
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NOT THE "SUPPORT ENDOSYSTEMS" NOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOO LEAVE ENDOS ALONE THEY'RE SO COOL GUYS PLEAAAASE
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> moxxie‼️ makes sense and if the people who do fake decide to they could at least do research- its painfully obvious who's faking
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> g_e_a_r Oh yeah and also!! OSDD is "otherwise specified dissociative disorder" and are basically the same as DID except: OSDD-1a is where not all of the alters may be fully formed, or may be more similar to the host rather than their own selves OSDD-1b is where theres little to no iddociative amnesia :D
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> moxxie‼️ oh yeah those bitches are fucking dense as hell and need to stop faking
pov: some kid made an insensitive joke in class about systems (and if i remember they called DID "MPD") ft. a drawing i did when he said it
i dont remember exactly what he said, but i told him to shut the fuck up
synesthesia left a comment!
yeah no i had alto's nightmare last night im 100% sure
it took place in a school and was normal for most of it, but then one of the adults like started acting weirdly and started plugging in these vhs tapes to EVERY single device (computers, phones, tvs, etc) and it all had the same message, which was something along the lines of:
"i am no longer connected to the movie you're connected to."
it was white text on a green background and after the screen went black, it would play "sayo-nara" from the ddlc soundtrack on loop for HOURS
i woke myself up after i was too scared.
i know it was alto's dream because i associate them with VHS tapes, i dont know why- and also, i literally never have nightmares. ever. haven't had one since 2018, i've only gotten stress dreams/semi nightmares (dreams where something i cant control is going on) for the past 3 or so years
and i didn't look like me, either-
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LUCKYYYY I HAVE NIGHTMARES CONSTANTLY BUT THAnk fully george helps me w them :]
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> sel ahh okay
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> g_e_a_r alto is one of the voices i have, that's their name!! :] wasnt dysphoria related, i looked like how id imagine alto to look like ! /nm
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oh btw it wasnt 'movie' i think it was either 'channel', 'broadcast', or something else
synesthesia left a comment!
yeah no i had alto's nightmare last night im 100% sure
it took place in a school and was normal for most of it, but then one of the adults like started acting weirdly and started plugging in these vhs tapes to EVERY single device (computers, phones, tvs, etc) and it all had the same message, which was something along the lines of:
"i am no longer connected to the movie you're connected to."
it was white text on a green background and after the screen went black, it would play "sayo-nara" from the ddlc soundtrack on loop for HOURS
i woke myself up after i was too scared.
i know it was alto's dream because i associate them with VHS tapes, i dont know why- and also, i literally never have nightmares. ever. haven't had one since 2018, i've only gotten stress dreams/semi nightmares (dreams where something i cant control is going on) for the past 3 or so years
and i didn't look like me, either-
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LUCKYYYY I HAVE NIGHTMARES CONSTANTLY BUT THAnk fully george helps me w them :]
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> sel ahh okay
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> g_e_a_r alto is one of the voices i have, that's their name!! :] wasnt dysphoria related, i looked like how id imagine alto to look like ! /nm
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oh btw it wasnt 'movie' i think it was either 'channel', 'broadcast', or something else
yeah no i had alto's nightmare last night im 100% sure
it took place in a school and was normal for most of it, but then one of the adults like started acting weirdly and started plugging in these vhs tapes to EVERY single device (computers, phones, tvs, etc) and it all had the same message, which was something along the lines of:
"i am no longer connected to the movie you're connected to."
it was white text on a green background and after the screen went black, it would play "sayo-nara" from the ddlc soundtrack on loop for HOURS
i woke myself up after i was too scared.
i know it was alto's dream because i associate them with VHS tapes, i dont know why- and also, i literally never have nightmares. ever. haven't had one since 2018, i've only gotten stress dreams/semi nightmares (dreams where something i cant control is going on) for the past 3 or so years
and i didn't look like me, either-
-
LUCKYYYY I HAVE NIGHTMARES CONSTANTLY BUT THAnk fully george helps me w them :]
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> sel ahh okay
-
> g_e_a_r alto is one of the voices i have, that's their name!! :] wasnt dysphoria related, i looked like how id imagine alto to look like ! /nm
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oh btw it wasnt 'movie' i think it was either 'channel', 'broadcast', or something else
My height: aha 4'9 or 4'10-
Zodiac Sign: scorpio
I live in: ontario, canada!
Favorite colors: cyan, magenta, yellow, black, and red
Favorite food: idk
Favorite drink: boba tea!
Favorite season: autumn
I like to do: drawing, writing, talking to people
I don't like to do: idk-
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4'9" IM CRYINNGGG WE WERE SO LITTLE
i asked if anyone was there and a name popped into my head, the name is 'mikey'!
then i remembered that there was another name i heard from the voices a while back, their name was 'alto'! :]
just asked them both how they were!! theyre really nice to me :]
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I'm glad theyre being nice! ^^
synesthesia left a comment!
//derealization is brought up like once
i keep. hearing voices inside my head that arent mine???????????????????
im also spacing out more often???
and i feel like im not like. in control n shit sometimes???>> i meajn like i feel like im not in control of my body sometimes, and i feel like im like in some sort of game or movie or dream???>??/
sometimes when i space out my body looks fucking distorted
i also feel like the reason why i change my preferred name so much is because i just kind of dont know who i am-
when do i get therapy- /genq
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SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! POINTS AT YOU
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hmmm idk if this is similar but i often get auditory hallucinations(i think) which just sound like a lot of people talking at once and i can only make out a few words. it usually happens when it’s completely quiet
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also ! i find it interesting how you bring up feeling like in a game, because thats how ive always described dissociation and switches !
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talk to the voices. :) trust me. ask them small questions, like how theyre doing, or if they have a name. :)
synesthesia left a comment!
//derealization is brought up like once
i keep. hearing voices inside my head that arent mine???????????????????
im also spacing out more often???
and i feel like im not like. in control n shit sometimes???>> i meajn like i feel like im not in control of my body sometimes, and i feel like im like in some sort of game or movie or dream???>??/
sometimes when i space out my body looks fucking distorted
i also feel like the reason why i change my preferred name so much is because i just kind of dont know who i am-
when do i get therapy- /genq
-
SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! POINTS AT YOU
-
hmmm idk if this is similar but i often get auditory hallucinations(i think) which just sound like a lot of people talking at once and i can only make out a few words. it usually happens when it’s completely quiet
-
also ! i find it interesting how you bring up feeling like in a game, because thats how ive always described dissociation and switches !
-
talk to the voices. :) trust me. ask them small questions, like how theyre doing, or if they have a name. :)
synesthesia left a comment!
//derealization is brought up like once
i keep. hearing voices inside my head that arent mine???????????????????
im also spacing out more often???
and i feel like im not like. in control n shit sometimes???>> i meajn like i feel like im not in control of my body sometimes, and i feel like im like in some sort of game or movie or dream???>??/
sometimes when i space out my body looks fucking distorted
i also feel like the reason why i change my preferred name so much is because i just kind of dont know who i am-
when do i get therapy- /genq
-
SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! POINTS AT YOU
-
hmmm idk if this is similar but i often get auditory hallucinations(i think) which just sound like a lot of people talking at once and i can only make out a few words. it usually happens when it’s completely quiet
-
also ! i find it interesting how you bring up feeling like in a game, because thats how ive always described dissociation and switches !
-
talk to the voices. :) trust me. ask them small questions, like how theyre doing, or if they have a name. :)
//derealization is brought up like once
i keep. hearing voices inside my head that arent mine???????????????????
im also spacing out more often???
and i feel like im not like. in control n shit sometimes???>> i meajn like i feel like im not in control of my body sometimes, and i feel like im like in some sort of game or movie or dream???>??/
sometimes when i space out my body looks fucking distorted
i also feel like the reason why i change my preferred name so much is because i just kind of dont know who i am-
when do i get therapy- /genq
-
SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!! POINTS AT YOU
-
hmmm idk if this is similar but i often get auditory hallucinations(i think) which just sound like a lot of people talking at once and i can only make out a few words. it usually happens when it’s completely quiet
-
also ! i find it interesting how you bring up feeling like in a game, because thats how ive always described dissociation and switches !
-
talk to the voices. :) trust me. ask them small questions, like how theyre doing, or if they have a name. :)
nobody:
me yesterday: physical pain, sickness
me today: mood swings, emotional pain
you can call me wilbur soot in im in love with an egirl because im experiencing constant pain in every dimension /j
im eating a kitkat and im gonna drink some tea !!1 :D
why does my mom always act like me and her are exactly the same and have the same needs.
synesthesia left a comment!
so
uh
whenever i talk about me and me in years before now i say "we" and not "i"
like for example
i should say
"i used to _________ and still do"
but i actually say
"we ____________"
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🤨
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tl;dr i treat me now and me in the past like two completely seperate people
so
uh
whenever i talk about me and me in years before now i say "we" and not "i"
like for example
i should say
"i used to _________ and still do"
but i actually say
"we ____________"
-
🤨
-
tl;dr i treat me now and me in the past like two completely seperate people
i fucking HATE my dreams /srs
the fact i keep having dreams that have something to do with me and DID/OSDD systems/me having them is like my brain trying to imply that i want one
which like
is really shitty, you shouldnt want a mental disorder
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🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 denial much (HI GUYS ! I AM A SYSTEM!)
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wtf
i threw up (side effects of 2nd covid vaccine, i have a fever) and i feel genuinely so terrible i am SO CLOSE to fucking relapsing /srs
my mom: since you got your second covid shot today, youre gonna feel not great tomorrow, so make sure to get a lot of sleep
me: ok
also me: *pulls an all nighter*
yeah so school starts today so i wont be active from around 9am-3:30pm EST
i wont be able to post, text, chat with people, etc
sorry- i dont have a phone and i doubt theyd let me bring it if i had one
synesthesia left a comment!
I
AM
NOT
GAY
but... women
NO
> sel *wheeze*
> g_e_a_r UHGHBHG how do i fix this-
P1NK :]
Pink and grey