School is something that I cannot stand. I cannot get rid of all the issues i have there and basically been 7 months there and still struggling with it. Im really overwhelmed.

No one listens to me and people are ignorant

tw-little vent
















i wanna cry. and dont wanna be alive right now. just wanna go home and lay down. so yeah.

i just want to rest from school, it's getting on my nerves and I cannot handle it anymore.. when my mom asks me how was school im kinda incapable of saying anything positive about school, i just hate it.

Also, people who are in other site that used to be friends with me in the past don't talk to me as often and i go the hard effort of talking to them, but when i talk to them i seem unfriendly and annoying :( and the way I perceive other's feelings is confusing., i asked for help but it's just like it isn't working
I will take a break from this site... only a day or less, im just gonna stay on ToyHouse because i feel more comfortable there
Thats it

I dont plan on coming back here because of the ads that is being shown
I dont like it DX
I rather not let my family to even see this ad
I wanted to have a site that is child friendly qwq

I dont plan on coming back here because of the ads that is being shown
I dont like it DX
I rather not let my family to even see this ad
I wanted to have a site that is child friendly qwq

Vent???

I finally realized why I wasn’t doing the best and I fixed it. Ever since I can remember anytime my parents got into a fight and I cried, my dad would twist it in his own way and use me crying against my mom to make her seem like a bad person. So, I still remember my childhood, but I shut my emotions off for years. Then anytime my little sister would cry when they would fight, my dad would use it against my mom. I would get mad at my little sister and yell at her to stop crying because it wouldn’t ever help. She just straight up thought I didn’t care about my parents marriage. I didn’t realize that I had let my guard down and turned my emotions back on. Which is probably why I keep twitching, I’m extremely stressed, and I have a hard time focusing on stuff. A while ago my parents got into a really bad fight and I ended up crying. My mom left the house for a couple of minutes to cool down. However, my dad was trying to use me to convince her not to leave. He was scaring me really bad and I didn’t want to be left alone with him. So, I was crying, screaming, and begging my mom to stay because I didn’t want my dad to get mad at me for not being able to keep her home. My dad however was recording the whole thing. He then called a friend of ours and tried manipulating and twisting the story to try and get my mom in trouble. I can’t tell you how mad I was about it because he was also trying to make it seem like my mom was crazy. I was afraid to speak up though. I didn’t understand why I acted like that. Until today. My parents got into another fight during lunch and he tried blaming it on me. He said that mr stupidity is what caused it when it was his actions that did. After I found out about my crush is dating someone else all the negative emotion that I had just built up was probably too much for my body. The other day one of my close friends told me that I didn’t have to bottle everything up. I knew something felt wrong and that I didn’t want to let everything out. I couldn’t remember why though. I do now after lunch though.

Vent???

I finally realized why I wasn’t doing the best and I fixed it. Ever since I can remember anytime my parents got into a fight and I cried, my dad would twist it in his own way and use me crying against my mom to make her seem like a bad person. So, I still remember my childhood, but I shut my emotions off for years. Then anytime my little sister would cry when they would fight, my dad would use it against my mom. I would get mad at my little sister and yell at her to stop crying because it wouldn’t ever help. She just straight up thought I didn’t care about my parents marriage. I didn’t realize that I had let my guard down and turned my emotions back on. Which is probably why I keep twitching, I’m extremely stressed, and I have a hard time focusing on stuff. A while ago my parents got into a really bad fight and I ended up crying. My mom left the house for a couple of minutes to cool down. However, my dad was trying to use me to convince her not to leave. He was scaring me really bad and I didn’t want to be left alone with him. So, I was crying, screaming, and begging my mom to stay because I didn’t want my dad to get mad at me for not being able to keep her home. My dad however was recording the whole thing. He then called a friend of ours and tried manipulating and twisting the story to try and get my mom in trouble. I can’t tell you how mad I was about it because he was also trying to make it seem like my mom was crazy. I was afraid to speak up though. I didn’t understand why I acted like that. Until today. My parents got into another fight during lunch and he tried blaming it on me. He said that mr stupidity is what caused it when it was his actions that did. After I found out about my crush is dating someone else all the negative emotion that I had just built up was probably too much for my body. The other day one of my close friends told me that I didn’t have to bottle everything up. I knew something felt wrong and that I didn’t want to let everything out. I couldn’t remember why though. I do now after lunch though.

HAIIII HAPPY VALENTINES GUYS! I just wanna give a few shout-outs and thank yous to you stars <3 You guys really shine bright ^^ u can read below

_________Thank U awards <333_________
First place: This goes to my Bestie/sissy! UrLocalPinkPeep! (we arent biologically related but we are SUPER alike) You have done honestly too much for me! Thank you so so so very much ^^ you didn't have to do the things you done for me but you did anyway. You've been there for me every step of the way, and I really cant stress the fact that I'm so greatful for you! I might not live without youuuuu! Shout-out to you!

1 1/2 Place: This place that isn't normally placed in places goes to Vindoll! or MIMI/LUMI! ^^ Tysm Mimiiii you have also done so very much for me and you taught me things I should know even at my grown ass age <3 You really encorage me to do things I know I'm not used to and that led me to listening to more political news, practice editing some pictures I do, and correct my grammar ! You are honestly so VERY inspiring, ilysmmm! Shout-out to you!

Second Place: DORD >:) I KNOW YOU ARE THERE! This goes out to my fave therapist and online bestie DordusRising (Mostly Inactive) <33 You have saved me from so many self-harm situations and knowing that you are always there for me (even at my worst) is what really keeps me going. You elevate my self-esteem in every way and I really wanna thank you for that. I'm happy that a genuinely good person like you exists in such a cruel and insufferable world <333 Thank you for supporting me for all this time! I really needed it! ^^ I promise you, you will get good karma, just wait for it. Ilysmmm! Shout-out to you!

2 1/2 Place: This place isnt a common place either, but I really wanna put my lil bro on here! Tysm lil bro, you been with me all these years we grown up together, you supported my sexuality (you were the first person I came out to 😅🏳️‍🌈) and you kept to yourself secrets I cant even trust myself with. You are a very fair, just, and kind person that has been by my side and I never took the time to appreciate that. Thank you for every thing you done for me. I wouldn't be able to live without knowing you are okay. You are the GOAT ;) ilysmmm! Shou-out to you!

Third Place: Myself <333 I never realized how smart and strong you've have been these years. I know you better than anyone else knows me. I really need to care for you more. The fact you are still living is because you keep pushing through. You have grown so much these years, it's amazing that you were one 4-years-old that didn't know much, and now you dramatically changed. Just keep pushing through, eveyone would hate to see you loose progress <3. Grow to tell your crazy ass stories to your forever friends. You made amazing choices so far, even if they are bad, you still keep growing. Ilysmmm. Keep shining! Shout-out to you and your progress.

CREDITS! -Best things my besties done-
Good-bye sengen Moon- by UrLocalPinkPeep (Pink/Bestie/Sissy)
The Cosmic Corner podcast cover- by Vindoll (Lumi/Mimi)
A new Design of Moon- By Me, Luna_Moon-Playz
I know my bro made a present for me....He tells me he loves me <3
And for Dord.....He's kinda unpredicable ;') But I know he loves me too <3 (I know Pink is gonna ship Dorduna >:0 ITS NOT LIKE THAT YET!)

HAIIII HAPPY VALENTINES GUYS! I just wanna give a few shout-outs and thank yous to you stars <3 You guys really shine bright ^^ u can read below

_________Thank U awards <333_________
First place: This goes to my Bestie/sissy! UrLocalPinkPeep! (we arent biologically related but we are SUPER alike) You have done honestly too much for me! Thank you so so so very much ^^ you didn't have to do the things you done for me but you did anyway. You've been there for me every step of the way, and I really cant stress the fact that I'm so greatful for you! I might not live without youuuuu! Shout-out to you!

1 1/2 Place: This place that isn't normally placed in places goes to Vindoll! or MIMI/LUMI! ^^ Tysm Mimiiii you have also done so very much for me and you taught me things I should know even at my grown ass age <3 You really encorage me to do things I know I'm not used to and that led me to listening to more political news, practice editing some pictures I do, and correct my grammar ! You are honestly so VERY inspiring, ilysmmm! Shout-out to you!

Second Place: DORD >:) I KNOW YOU ARE THERE! This goes out to my fave therapist and online bestie DordusRising (Mostly Inactive) <33 You have saved me from so many self-harm situations and knowing that you are always there for me (even at my worst) is what really keeps me going. You elevate my self-esteem in every way and I really wanna thank you for that. I'm happy that a genuinely good person like you exists in such a cruel and insufferable world <333 Thank you for supporting me for all this time! I really needed it! ^^ I promise you, you will get good karma, just wait for it. Ilysmmm! Shout-out to you!

2 1/2 Place: This place isnt a common place either, but I really wanna put my lil bro on here! Tysm lil bro, you been with me all these years we grown up together, you supported my sexuality (you were the first person I came out to 😅🏳️‍🌈) and you kept to yourself secrets I cant even trust myself with. You are a very fair, just, and kind person that has been by my side and I never took the time to appreciate that. Thank you for every thing you done for me. I wouldn't be able to live without knowing you are okay. You are the GOAT ;) ilysmmm! Shou-out to you!

Third Place: Myself <333 I never realized how smart and strong you've have been these years. I know you better than anyone else knows me. I really need to care for you more. The fact you are still living is because you keep pushing through. You have grown so much these years, it's amazing that you were one 4-years-old that didn't know much, and now you dramatically changed. Just keep pushing through, eveyone would hate to see you loose progress <3. Grow to tell your crazy ass stories to your forever friends. You made amazing choices so far, even if they are bad, you still keep growing. Ilysmmm. Keep shining! Shout-out to you and your progress.

CREDITS! -Best things my besties done-
Good-bye sengen Moon- by UrLocalPinkPeep (Pink/Bestie/Sissy)
The Cosmic Corner podcast cover- by Vindoll (Lumi/Mimi)
A new Design of Moon- By Me, Luna_Moon-Playz
I know my bro made a present for me....He tells me he loves me <3
And for Dord.....He's kinda unpredicable ;') But I know he loves me too <3 (I know Pink is gonna ship Dorduna >:0 ITS NOT LIKE THAT YET!)

DreadX--Varia is my name. Game-related art and friendship is my game!

DreadX--Varia is my name. Game-related art and friendship is my game!

:3



Im scared about the future.. i dont even know if im ok or insane now. I just feel forced to talk, do stuff etc. and i also feel like my irl friends hate me for being so pushy and annoying. That's a reason why im afraid of school. Sometimes my mood is good, sometimes my mood is awful, like now. One of the reasons why i draw is for forgetting about my personal issues and distracting a bit. But idk if im alright now. Im just too confused about how i feel about myself and i just wanna hide in my hole and relax. Social media isn't helping too. I think i should not use them anymore because my parents say that my mental health is attached to social media so they probably won't agree with me anymore... im a big person in this site and i don't want to lose it all, i WONT be inactive forever or leave this site till infinity. You guys are awesome... and I think i am too. But for my teenage mind, maybe i am the problem?? My friend who im in a hard spot with, maybe hates me because im the one who makes them uncomfortable and, they might now come back with me never because me? Im just finding out that im very pushy and rude

Things u have to know:
- i have stuff irl that make me blow up (school)
- IM NOT leaving any social media
- im ok.. i think
- dont judge me

I'm neurodivergent, and that plays a factor in that. Sometimes, we just go out of our way just to say hi or just strike up a convo for no particular reason. If we are involved in a conversation and we just stop speaking, it's because we feel like we don't have anything to add.

I'm neurodivergent, and that plays a factor in that. Sometimes, we just go out of our way just to say hi or just strike up a convo for no particular reason. If we are involved in a conversation and we just stop speaking, it's because we feel like we don't have anything to add.

I'm neurodivergent, and that plays a factor in that. Sometimes, we just go out of our way just to say hi or just strike up a convo for no particular reason. If we are involved in a conversation and we just stop speaking, it's because we feel like we don't have anything to add.