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RightsNighty left a comment!

Ugh

Ive been trying so hard to make a good gift for her and tried to make professional things
And they all end up horribly
I have three different wolf sketches that I got to coloring and they all ended up becoming the below because my dog keeps stealing and eating my preferred supplies so I’m left to regular pencils and no highlights or pens or anything
And I have so little time
She’s so perfect at everything and is just stunning
And I can only do one thing which is art and not even that well
I tried making origami flowers for her but they suck too
She’s down so much for me and made me so many things and poured herself out for me
And I can’t make her the simplest thing at all
Guess I’m a failure....

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RightsNighty left a comment!

Ugh

Ive been trying so hard to make a good gift for her and tried to make professional things
And they all end up horribly
I have three different wolf sketches that I got to coloring and they all ended up becoming the below because my dog keeps stealing and eating my preferred supplies so I’m left to regular pencils and no highlights or pens or anything
And I have so little time
She’s so perfect at everything and is just stunning
And I can only do one thing which is art and not even that well
I tried making origami flowers for her but they suck too
She’s down so much for me and made me so many things and poured herself out for me
And I can’t make her the simplest thing at all
Guess I’m a failure....

Read more

RightsNighty left a comment!

Can I... talk for a minute?

I’m scared.
About my future.
I know I said I wasn’t scared anymore, but I am again.
The main reason is I’m terrified of telling my family I’m an atheist. They’ll likely hate me forever.
Another reason is finding the right girl. First of all, not a lot of girls take pride in being big and fat, and sadly that’s something I have to have in my women in order to fully be in love with them (that isn’t to say I hate skinny girls, I just don’t like them romantically. I know that’s kinky, but I CANNOT HELP IT). And I don’t understand the “woman language” (what I mean by that is that I don’t get the social cues most of them expect men to understand. For example, say a couple is in a store and the girl says “you don’t have to get me anything” in which case she may expect the guy to get her something anyway). I need to be told exactly what you mean, or what you want, otherwise I don’t know to do it! If she wants babies or wants sexual intimacy or wants me to touch her or something she HAS TO TELL ME IN ORDER FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!
And having Beatrice in my head has really done a number on my love scope, too. I mean, I’m trying so hard to not narrow standards down to all her features, but it’s so hard!!!!
And i hate being tall. I want to be shorter than the girl. I want to be the shorter and submissive one. I don’t like it when the guy is taller. And yet I’m like 5’10” so the odds aren’t in my favor.
Third reason is, yep you guessed it, struggling with my “men are bad” mindset.
Geez, what’s wrong with me?! I’m so different it’s going to get me in trouble.

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RightsNighty left a comment!

Its official

Im a actual Taoist also known as the yin yang religion! Although i do accept alot of its steps theres one i do refuse to follow and its the diet. The diet is where a taoist is not allowed to eat acidic foods, heavily processed foods, beef, and chicken. Its been said that cow and chicken are sacred animals that should not be eaten! Instead they eat whole grains, organic foods, vegetables, nuts, fruits, and tofu which is spongey soy milk! But since i find this step to be extremely difficult for me i decided to not follow it! But as a Taoist its been said to live a balanced life and see that things can actually live forever no matter what. Taoism, or Daoism, is a philosophical or religious tradition of Chinese origin which emphasizes living in harmony with the Tao. The Tao is a fundamental idea in most Chinese philosophical schools; in Taoism, however, it denotes the principle that is the source, pattern and substance of everything that exists. Chinese philosophy signify the fundamental or true nature of the world: simplicity and selflessness in conformity with the Tao, leading a life of non-purposive action, a life expressing the essence of spontaneity.. Taoism, also known as Daoism, arose about the same time as Confucianism. There is no omnipotent being beyond the cosmos, who created and controls the universe. In Taoism the universe springs from the Tao, and the Tao impersonally guides things on their way. But the Tao itself is not God, nor is it a god, nor is it worshipped by Taoists. Thats all guys! Sorry for the large explaining! ;u;

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RightsNighty left a comment!

Funny thing...

Funny thing that my parents are highly convinced I’m ever coming back once I leave.
“We can give you pointers when you come back for the holidays!”
“Between semesters, you’ll be able to come back and figure out what you want to do next!”
“You don’t have to take EVERYTHING... we’ll store some stuff for you for when you come back!”
“Once you start getting ready for your mission we can get ready for you to come back!”
Ha ha ha yeah you think so, huh?! well guess what, I’m never ever coming back because I’m leaving you forever and ever and never calling you ever again. Guess I’m going to have to choose some things that I can’t take with me if I can’t take it all with me. Holidays are becoming worthless to me anyways. What makes them think I’d EVER come back? They’re the reason I’m always upset and emotionally unstable. I don’t even have the maturity of an adult at my age, because it’s been shattered.
So the plan?
Leave and never ever ever ever ever ever ever come back. Ever. I’m going to say Goodbye forever.
What next then?
I don’t know, at one point I planned to just get lethal injection, since I didn’t really think I had a plan for my life. Obviously that’s not something people would want me to do.
Whatever, the important thing is I’ll be gone forever.

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RightsNighty left a comment!

About my profile name...

There’s something I want you guys to know. I’m going to get a little personal here, just for a minute. “Jeffy” happens to be a very, very, very special nickname of mine. I’m only called this by my closest friends and family (only two family members call me by that name). It’s a nickname I hate people who aren’t close to me using. It’s a nickname I would entrust to my girlfriend, if I ever have one. And...
It’s a nickname I decided to let you guys know about. Because you’re that important to me.
Sorry for spam, I just thought I’d say that.

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RightsNighty left a comment!

Ugh

Ive been trying so hard to make a good gift for her and tried to make professional things
And they all end up horribly
I have three different wolf sketches that I got to coloring and they all ended up becoming the below because my dog keeps stealing and eating my preferred supplies so I’m left to regular pencils and no highlights or pens or anything
And I have so little time
She’s so perfect at everything and is just stunning
And I can only do one thing which is art and not even that well
I tried making origami flowers for her but they suck too
She’s down so much for me and made me so many things and poured herself out for me
And I can’t make her the simplest thing at all
Guess I’m a failure....

Read more

RightsNighty left a comment!

RightsNighty left a comment!

RightsNighty left a comment!

I’m so happy

Last night my lovely girl and I talked for a full hour from 11-12 and after she explained more about her Injury (my suspicions were correct about her amount of pain) we had a really good convo! I think her mom is loosening up now for some reason 😆
And I might be able to sleepover at her house Friday (which means cuddles) and go to our youth group, Kaleo, which I haven’t been to in ages. It depends if she can get eight math lessons done in three days, but she’s done more than that, and she says she’s going to try hard on it to have her mom allow me over. (One of the interesting homeschool family types you’ll meet lol, pretty rare tho)
The only problem is I want to make her / buy her a late birthday present and I have no clue what to get...

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RightsNighty left a comment!

I’m so happy

Last night my lovely girl and I talked for a full hour from 11-12 and after she explained more about her Injury (my suspicions were correct about her amount of pain) we had a really good convo! I think her mom is loosening up now for some reason 😆
And I might be able to sleepover at her house Friday (which means cuddles) and go to our youth group, Kaleo, which I haven’t been to in ages. It depends if she can get eight math lessons done in three days, but she’s done more than that, and she says she’s going to try hard on it to have her mom allow me over. (One of the interesting homeschool family types you’ll meet lol, pretty rare tho)
The only problem is I want to make her / buy her a late birthday present and I have no clue what to get...

Read more