일러스트・만화 투고&SNS사이트 - ART street by MediBang

Two hours a day

Mossy/Bea 님이 댓글을 남겼습니다!

Vent//

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*theorized self harm TW (just thoughts)


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I just feel like.. like hurting myself recently. Not too bad, but enough to leave a bruise.
I keep wanting to bang my head into the wall.
Again.
Again.
My brain is tired of forgetting it’s a human being. Forgetting I’m a person, a name.
I want to fling my hands, arms, legs against something, until I have to stop. Until I shatter.
Will I have to stop? How long could I keep doing it?
Curiosity killed the cat, but (something) brought it back.
Curious, bored, wondering.
Why shouldn’t I hurt me?
I want to not be me.
Mossy the human has such a great life, everything is going great for her!
Her family loves her. She’s done so many great things. Look at the skills she’s learned!
She’s pretty, she’s nice, she’s polite! She’s a nice person, and cares about her friends!
So what’s wrong?
Why doesn’t she like herself? Why does she reject a perfect life?

I don’t know.

I just want a break from me.
I don’t want to think. I don’t want to remember.
Don’t look back. Don’t look forward. Just do. Just live.
I just wish I could fly away.
I wish I could get away from my life.
I don’t want my human body anymore. I wish I could be something else. Just for a bit, please.
It sounds silly out loud.
Small, useless.
But the only thing I want from my life anymore
Is to become Her.
A werewolf with wings.
Silly, right??
But I want her wings, the way she could bare her fangs at danger. The bristling fur to protect me.
Unburdened chest, breasts and emotional problems gone.

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Mossy/Bea 님이 like 하셨습니다!

goddamnit

/unreality




please
can someone just tell me that
everything is real.
days go by and suddenly its been four years
suddenly
everything is different
things that happened ages ago feel recent, recent things feel like ages ago
my memory pools together and constructs fake events that im convinced happened
i cant take this anymore
nothing is real is it
i cant remember people or things
or events
my brain is filled with strange paranoias
i could come home from school and my family is dead
i could get j=hit by a car at any second
people could bust down the walls and come out and hurt me
amy could text me even though i saw her in the casket
4 years have passed
i dont remember hardly any of it
memories break apart and stretch and get out of order as an attempt to cover up all that ive forgotten
i dont
i dont understand
why is the earth broken into so many pieces
why am i alone
but never alone
why cant i form complete sentences in my head before saying them
why is my house so unfamiliar to me
why does sometimes my body feel contorted and twisted
help
i need this to end
i cant take this anymore
im so fucking close to my limit
if i dont get help soon, i
i dont know what im going to do to myself
please
someone
anyone
help me

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